Husband vs.Wife

I’m so fucking lost right now and I have no idea what to do. I want to be a good mom and wife. I want to help. I want to at least feel like I am being helpful.

How did our mothers and grandmothers do it? How do you feel fulfilled when staying home with the kids? Is the world a better place because you chose to raise your kids instead of getting a 9-5 job? The torment I go through with these questions is constant in my head.

I thought I was going to be a doctor. Then college hit and I partied too much. I got pregnant. I became a single mom. I finally met the love of my life, married, and had another baby. But now, I’m 28 years old and I feel like a loser.

I am in school again but took the summer off! (Needed a mental break) I feel like I have accomplished so much and yet nothing at the same time. I don’t contribute to finances. My husband is in charge of bills. I like it this way, so don’t get your panties in a bunch. I have always procrastinated when it came to paying bills so the Hubs took over.

I thought being a mom AND wife was a job. I cook, clean, do laundry, buy groceries, take care of house, pets, kids, etc. I don’t need one more thing. I don’t need extra stress in my life. And honestly I don’t think mentally I can add anymore things to my to-do list. I may just explode.

My kids will both be in school this fall and I look forward to the alone time. I also told the Hubs I would get a job then. I don’t understand why he keeps pushing me to get a job that would end up paying for daycare? I am the daycare, evening care, and night care! 24/7 is my current schedule.

I just want to be happy. That’s it. I want my husband to be proud of me and I want my kids to have the best summer ever with their mommy!

Happy wife, happy life, right?

About Amandahttp://justmommyorg.wordpress.comHello All, I look forward to start this new journey! I am a mom/housewife and have two children. I have been married for 7 years and enjoy the little things in life. I started this blog not to only help others, but to help myself with the struggles I go through with depression/anxiety. I know it’s scary to say aloud, but sometimes I need help or at least one person who can understand what I’m going through. Maybe I can help just one person and I am here to listen, talk, and give advice for anyone that needs it.

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