Driving through Indiana in the Spring/Summer is so beautiful. Today we were headed to my parents house and I took country roads to avoid interstate traffic. As I weave through the road on a S curve, my daughter exclaims, “Oh look at the beautiful flowers!” The whole field was lit up with wild yellow flowers and it looked like the poppy field from “Wizard of Oz.” I thought, “ How wonderful my little girl sees the beauty in the world at such a young age (she’s 5).”
I still see a beautiful world at certain moments, but I don’t remember the last time I have felt like ‘anything is possible.’ I feel like my options are limited. Life ambitions differ to person to person. My life talent has not made it self known to me.
What do you want to do in life? I want to be happy.
Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Teaching my kids how to drive.
What are your favorite hobbies? Watching Netflix, reading, keeping my kids alive, listening to music, and dancing.
How do you know what your destiny is? Is happiness based on the type of life you live all together, what you do for a paycheck, what kind of car you drive? I do not want to be that mom that puts work in front of her family. I can not seem to get a job that pays to put my children in daycare. Why would I trade that time and pay more money out of pocket?
I guess I just do not understand working for a person or a company and literally dreading every day. I want to enjoy life. We only get one chance, right? I want to make it count by living my dream.
My dream was to find the love of my life and start a family. Dream is achieved. Now I am stuck. Stuck on finding a new path to take without leaving my family in the shadows.