May 2, 2019 Depressed Mom (first post)

I just recently left Nursing School. It was really difficult for me to balance life as a mom and wife and put time in for studying. The information just was not clicking in my head. I was not able to connect pathophysiology with diseases and it has destroyed my grades. My self-esteem has plummeted and I’m battling everyday with my emotions, mind, and heart.

My husband, Cory, is very supportive and was not mad about my decision to withdraw from Nursing School. I still feel like a loser and do not know what to do. I have considered getting a job, but my job for 8 years has been to be a mom/wife and I do not know how to be anything else. Has anyone felt like they are lost? At 28 years young, I have failed…again. All I want to do is make my husband proud and help contribute to my family. Is it unfair for me to stay at home with the kids as the husband works and provides for us?

My husband works very hard and makes enough where I can stay home, but he also helps out his mother and grandmother. His heart is bigger than most. He gives his hard-earned money to his family when they are in need and I usually do not mind since he takes care of the bills.

Is it unfair, even though he makes good money, that I stay home? Am I just as bad as his family for making him take care of me, even though I take care of the kids and house? These are the struggles I go through. All my life I have quit when situations get tough. I feel like life is too short to waste on a job I do not like. I want to be a good wife and I want to help. I just do not feel like I am doing enough, yet I am busy everyday taking care of our home, cleaning, cooking and keeping the children alive.

I will say that motherhood is a blessing and I love being a mom to my beautiful girls. I am a good mom, I know because they tell me, and I love my husband and my home. Do not think for a second that I would trade them for anything. I just want to be enough for them.

-Amanda

About Amandahttp://justmommyorg.wordpress.comHello All, I look forward to start this new journey! I am a mom/housewife and have two children. I have been married for 7 years and enjoy the little things in life. I started this blog not to only help others, but to help myself with the struggles I go through with depression/anxiety. I know it’s scary to say aloud, but sometimes I need help or at least one person who can understand what I’m going through. Maybe I can help just one person and I am here to listen, talk, and give advice for anyone that needs it.

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